Flying Past ...

Ohkay... it is that boy ...

Someone who was never attached to his college with some truckload of emotions. Stupid are all those who get attached. Well, how can someone feel for some shitty institution featuring some seniors loaded with sidereal attitude upto the cork, with some juniors with a similar error, with a crappy tea stall by the gate and a few low-stat vendors who do not stock any standard kingsize fag. One needs to walk some 15 to 20 minutes down the most horrible lane with scraps and bits of household wastes scattered all along. And god save the one who plans to cross the same during the heavy monsoon. Two sweets shop(that vendors samosa) and a parathha-wallah is all one can afford if the canteen is out of stuffs to serve. When the institution celebrates holidays there are more cows and buffaloes than homo sapiens in that region.

Coming back to the institution that boasts a well to do infrastructure, there can be nothing good about it. The boy hates his teachers for presenting him with low scores and the other faculties for ‘more than the required’ attitude they present. Every day he prays to God to bring an end to this ramification of the mistake he has made by taking a decision to end up here. He has no friend in here, he doesn’t intend to get one. Tiring are the ‘College Days’. No ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hain dance group’, no ‘Mohabbatein short tempered Amitabh’, no ‘Akshay kumar type stuntman’, no Farhan , no Raju, no Rancho. Yet his classmates call this a college.

God answers every prayer. So soon his college days are about to come to an end. He is happy. He does not mind being a member of the group in Facebook formed by his college mates. But he does mind something else. The posts all across.

It goes back to the day when Debanjali all of a sudden reminds him that after three months his sufferings would come to an end. Soon everybody follows. Sourav Sen comes up with a album named ‘Nostalgia :-(’. Why is there this smiley? Well, there in the album are those arrogant seniors, his stupid emotional classmates, the stupid activities and …….. …….. SMILES … Ironic … people are smiling in an album that has a ‘:-(‘ in its name. Haha … its sarcasm… the boy is not smiling any more … fate is laughing at him …. Has he missed out the most precious and enjoyable phase of his life ?

He repeats to himself, there was no ‘Priyadarshi dance group’ in Kuch kuch hota hain, there was no ‘Short tempered Debajyoti Das’ in Mohabbatein, no ‘Sourav Sen type cameraman’, no ‘Rishav Dugar type entertainer’, no Rupam, no Pratim, no Joydeep ……. the list goes on …..

Was he the senior loaded with sidereal attitude upto the cork, the junior with a similar error? The tea stalls seems to be a better place than CCD , sharing a Flake with Ardha G**** and the others seems better than smoking away a Classic. And chatting ones heart out while walking down the station is the best thing one can experience…. There is a lot to say …. But how can he ?? This boy was never attached to his college….. Stupid are all those who get attached. Well he realises … he has been stupid !!

Tomorrow ...

Standing in the elevator of success I sway,

Goodbye to the days I’ve left away,

The machine will take me to the topmost floor,

This is all that I’ve craved for.

I’ve faltered, I’ve tripped still I’ve soared,

I’ve made my way through this 'life' named war,

I’ve dreamt of this life all the way,

Have I awakened or I’m still dreaming away?

From my balcony the sky seems so near,

With all the pride I’m holding my head up in the air.

But suddenly I feel a chill, I feel a fear,

The cuckoo in my wall clock is just a mechanical gear!

Oh lord! Don’t take me so high,

Where the sweetest birds can’t fly,

In my room I don’t want to rest,

Staring at the vulture's nest.

Today ....

Is this a war or is it a game ?

Everybody is trying to shoot to fame,

I’ve set my goal in this dilemma called life,

In that castle where success and stardom thrive.

At the doorstep here I stand,

Keeping a check over my adrenal gland,

I need to strike the perfect note,

To reach the elevator of success across the moat.

I stare with joy at the unprecedented height,

Where in the silicon valley the warriors fight.

Where resides the steel king without a wince,

And lives forever in our heart the 'polyester prince'.

The close ones' trust banks on me,

I’m not afraid, I don’t want to flee,

I believe that someday I will rise,

So I move towards my goal with dreams in my eyes.

Santa Claus: India is an Emerging Market (adapted from the blog of Festivities)

Festivities (F): Hello, Mr. Claus (SC) and thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us.

SC: Please call me Santa.

F: Very well. So Santa, tell us how does Christmas really work?

SC: Well, I don’t want to get into the religious aspect of Christmas, but what I will get into is the moral aspects of it. Christmas encourages people to be good. And good behaviour is rewarded.

F: So good deeds get rewarded?

SC: Well, you are over simplyfing it. But, yes good people get presents from me and bad people get coal. Now, since coal is expensive, we have decided to give people on the naughty list a CD featuring songs by Himesh Reshammiya.

F: (gasp) Isn’t that a bit too harsh?

SC: Well, yes. But we do need to drive a point across.

F: How does the logistics of Christmas work?

SC: Before I get into logistics, let me give you a brief outline on how we are structured. Considering we are operate in multi-national chimneys (MNC), we are increasingly operating on a ‘Globalocal’ model. The flagship brand still remains Christmas…

F: …and you as brand ambassador?

SC: Yes. However, we have started creating localized identities in various parts of the world. Like Saint Nicholas, Kris Kingle, Father Christmas, etc. We basically developed a mother brand that supports a variety of sub-brands that address every possible demography, region and language.

F: So, would I be right in assuming that the logistics are tough to manage?

SC: Well, yes. We have had our production issues. However, since Jessica (Santa’s wife) came on board as CTO (Cheif Toy Organizer) we have had fewer issues.

F: What about the overall environment in the North Pole?

SC: Yes, that has been a problem. Before Jessica joined us, the Christmas experience was undertaken entirely in the North Pole. However, considering there is not much to do except during season, we started having labour problems. Elves were getting high and emulating stunts from ‘The Lord of the Rings’. Strangely, they were copying ‘Gimli the dwarf’. So we had a period where our entire workforce used to sport beards and axes.

F: And also the North Pole shrinking.

SC: And the North Pole shrinking. When Jessica came on board, she suggested taking a hard look at our operations. We found that given the labour problems and the North Pole shrinking on account of global warming; it would be wise for us to outsource our operations. And we did.

F: So where have you outsourced?

SC: We have outsourced manufacturing of toys to China and support functions to India.

F: How is that working for you?

SC: Well with all outsourcing ventures, we did have our problems. Like one Christmas we had delivery issues and confusion at the vendor’s end. We got a shipload of babies and the Stork ended up with toy trains. Fortunately, the Stork and Christmas Inc. have been on good terms and we just exchanged lists. But, yes it has been a learning process for us and we feel more confident about outsourcing.

F: Where is Christmas Inc. headed in the coming years?

SC: Well we are looking at new markets, and India is at the top of our list. We feel it has strong potential and potency to embrace Christmas. We have started pushing it through a few partnerships in India. But, we have to still explore the market and understand it better to truly enter it in a big way.

F: What do you think are the biggest challenges while entering the Indian market?

SC: Well the biggest and most obvious is the lack of chimneys. We are still evaluating various mechanisms that will allow us to get as many people interested in the Christmas spirit. For example, we have established one mechanism which is getting our representatives interacting with people in malls, hotels, parties, etc.

F: Do you think the concept of ‘good list’ and ‘naughty list’ will spread in India? I mean if you look at any newspaper all you see are scams, corrupt politicians and generally bad people. How would you address this?

SC: Well, I will be honest with you. We had a major problem with our list management. When we outsourced our support functions to India, we had some problems with our vendor. There were some complex algorithms that needed to be built. These algorithms determine who is ‘good’ and who is ‘naughty’. For a few people, there were overwhelming scores on the BC parameters. Thus, the system went into an infinite loop and instead of punishing them, rewarded them.

F: May I ask who these people were?

SC: Well there are a lot, and we are rectifying the list by taking corrective steps. But it will take time. Typically this list consists of politicians, businessmen and a few governments. But we need to thank Kalmadi and his siphoning of the ‘Common Man’s Wealth’ that helped us spot the error in the first place. Since then we have sacked the vendor – who we suspect might have intentionally put the error and used it as a loophole to bypass our list algorithms.

F: Who was the vendor?

SC: (wry smile) Satyam.

F: Explains a lot…